Monday 14 December 2015

D-day before Engineering Exam ..!!


Why we engineers study just the day before an exams?
Short answer: we are night watchers and insomniac.

Long answer:

After taking admission in engineering , All we think is "Didn't get my choice of college (branch too), I'll study like a hell and kick those asses" But we had no idea what the fuc*ing pipeline of engineer is ,all we wanted was to be Rancho, and end up being Chatur without any 'chamtkar'. We never have any idea before the d-day and all we do is :
- Gather the books rather say Xeroxes day before an exam
- Open the syllabus page and waste an hour long to find out these things:
1. Is this right Xeroxes?
2. Is this topic in our 'Exams'?
3. Is this chapter in our 'Exams'?
4. Is this subject in our 'Exams'?
- And that's it, it's break time, and break long last more than an hour, during breaks:
-Open Fb and comment on friend's post saying  "gadheda, tare vanchai gyu atle have gam ne hera na kar" 
-Chat with friend.
-Don't know what is it about the exam, that we eat more than we actually 'read'.
- Collect the last year asked questions and end up reading only those for an exam.
- Pray to God
" Iss saal pass karva do, agale semester se pakka padhunga !!"

Being in second year all we think is " Now we are seniors ", and we tend to discover some amazing just-for-an-engineering-stuff.
We discover sizzling website with high speed internet and new laptop ( you can't spot an engineer without his smart phone and laptop). During semester start downloading constant movies and watch 2-3 per day. And then super senior tells us "Bhai, the real stuff is in TV series, If you're not watching FRIENDS, GOT, Breaking bad, etc, you're wasting your life as an engineer"
This routine will lead us to the scenario where all we do is watch the bunch of episode instead of exam reading . After the ' watching-seasons session' we make our mood for some reading so we,
-gather at one's place
-We make 'room' for some reading
- Discuss the different topic
- One who knows little bit about the topic tells a story and that is a lot more entertaining than the engineering professors.
- Tea time ( Most engineers don't drink coffee else he/she is with their lover at CCD).
- Future plans mostly day dreaming
- Crush talks and teasing
- Reading for an hour and then,
- Raat ke 1 baje vali 'Meri Maggie' break.
- Starting from reference books we end up reading from notes and paper solution.
- and Pray to God,
" Iss saal pass karva do, agale semester se pakka padhunga !!"

Two years in engineering, and people think we are 'Professional' only we know what the hell is happening inside our head.
With one peg we start thinking that "Engineering is blissful paradise" . We discover the new essence of library as hangout place. We are obliged to give advice to juniors for their first university exam. Only we know that it's not the ragging . We go to late night parties and fast driving. One bike and 'triple safari' . Tech-fest is our 'Tomorrowland' before the exam. Inner voice says you can pass any subject. Becomes an expert on mugging & writing shit in the fuc*ing exams. We start our day with the as usual collecting IMPs, end up becoming avid
- smokers , Cigarettes that don't let us sleep.
- Important page numbers, to read for the last moments.
- A fuc*ing long explanation to topic and after 30 minutes we realize that topic isn’t there in the syllabus .
- We skipped almost all odd topics but beneath to have a fear, if it will be asked.
- And the last-night-tension-relief-long-calls.
-A repetitive 89 Signatures we do in a book which have kept to note down for Imp points to remember.
- After an hour reading , as usual we all are drizzly.
-We are the sherlocks of Ghajini, we don't have the ability to' remember' things , but we sure can 'memorize' things over night just for the special 'bloody paper'

After surviving three years through this hellish engineering, we are those devils who rule on the college and don't want to taste the reality, which ultimately sucks! We have no idea of subjects even after the three years, endless vivas, Big major project and tension of placement. Still all we think is " why the hell we're still single after fucking four years " .
-We sleep like the 'Baap' of Kumbhkaran and the bed becomes Extra Seductive day before an exam.
- Those of us who love their afternoon nap gets their hell when we ruin that for them!
-A day before exam...When From Outside we are like "Spartansssss.!!"
but from inside it's like "Fuc* this Shit outta hell..!!
-we becomes champions of various games during our Crucial day before an exam time.
-A novel/game that we kept aside just to get refreshment but we make a personal obligation to complete the book/game, doesn't matter if the subject stays untouched.

After all these foolishness we manage to get passed. We drink, we smoke, we watch porn and we make sarcasm through all, we have become writer, artist, singer , and lot more; we have big start up ideas in mind but we have one more thing , label of "Engineer" on head. Being in last year we never have attended the lectures but we are regular for college campus.
From facebook posts to whatsapp status to hike timeline to twitter tweeting, we have thrown out our anger of exams out. Things have changed, but the damn fuc*ing system seems to just stare at our face and show the label of "You're an Engineer".
                                                                        -Kemil Ghoghari (An Engineer, with the help of J.)