Tuesday, 12 January 2016

#s_he..(2)


21. She was peaceful river, 
       Until she met to her 'ocean' !

22. Somewhere someone is in need of love, 
       Somewhere someone is in prayer of her !

23. She was a breeze, 
       He was a storm !

24. She was the ghost in his heart, 
       As he was inside the coffin forever !
       They never met !

25. She was counting the starts, 
       He was staring her in the moonlight !

26. He was a detective , 
       She was a sober companion !

27. He was like a rising sun,
       She was as calm as Moonlight !

28. He tried to take her picture from far,
       All she wanted is a couple photo with him !
       They never framed together !

29. He tried to guess her mood,
       All she wanted is someone who understand her !

30. He was the Symphony for her,
       She was never able to play it alone !

31. She was the song for him,
      But only he knew the meaning of her lyrics ! 

32. She was a bookmark in his diary,
      As he couldn't dare to write further ! 

33. She writes about him in her diary,
       He never finds her as secretive!

 34. He tried to wake her up, 
       but she was in his dreams ! 

35. If he is her tomorrow, 
       she believes he was her past !

36. He was the last poem in her diary, 
       She was the subject of his biography !

37. He was riddle of scars for her, 
       She solved him with her smile !

38. He was brave, 
       She was his bravery ! 

39. She was 'forever',
      He was 'always' !
                                                                                       - ~ ms (@tonksgirly (#s_he))



Tuesday, 5 January 2016

#s_he..(1)

1.  He tried hard to be the star in her eyes but
     she was busy capturing the shine !

2.  He tried to look at her in love, 
     She was busy blinking her eyes !

3.  She tried to be his favorite but 
     he just 'retweeted' her !

4.  He rose like a sun to give her warmth in winter days but 
     all she wanted was moonlight in her bad hair days ! 

5.  He tried to be the perfect ending for her but 
     she never read more than a preface of his book !

6.  He thinks he is in her thoughts,
     She believes in 'over thinking' ! 

7.  He thinks he can calm her down, As 
     she believes in burning fire !

8.  He was shy, 
     She was his shyness !

9.  He was watching her gracefully,
      She was waiting to lift her up !

10. He was soft music for her,
       She was kinda party girl !

11. Oh no!! She is still angry,
       He is still smiling ! 

12. He tried to smile at her, 
       She was directly looking in his eyes !

13. He was waiting for his gift,
       She gently kissed on his cheek !

14. He has his smile on her face, As 
       she gave him her tears !

15. He was there to hold her but 
       she wanted someone who can run with her !

16. He was doing coding for her but 
       all she wanted is a decoder to decode her emotions !

17. She tried to protect her face from sun,
       He stood between her and sun for all day !

18. If she is the darkness,
      He is the rainbow to color her !

19. He was the reason behind her tears, 
       She was crying in joy of being a mother ! 

20. He was the thunder, 
       She was the lightning !
                                                            -Kemil Ghoghari (@tonksgirly (#s_he) )



Monday, 14 December 2015

D-day before Engineering Exam ..!!


Why we engineers study just the day before an exams?
Short answer: we are night watchers and insomniac.

Long answer:

After taking admission in engineering , All we think is "Didn't get my choice of college (branch too), I'll study like a hell and kick those asses" But we had no idea what the fuc*ing pipeline of engineer is ,all we wanted was to be Rancho, and end up being Chatur without any 'chamtkar'. We never have any idea before the d-day and all we do is :
- Gather the books rather say Xeroxes day before an exam
- Open the syllabus page and waste an hour long to find out these things:
1. Is this right Xeroxes?
2. Is this topic in our 'Exams'?
3. Is this chapter in our 'Exams'?
4. Is this subject in our 'Exams'?
- And that's it, it's break time, and break long last more than an hour, during breaks:
-Open Fb and comment on friend's post saying  "gadheda, tare vanchai gyu atle have gam ne hera na kar" 
-Chat with friend.
-Don't know what is it about the exam, that we eat more than we actually 'read'.
- Collect the last year asked questions and end up reading only those for an exam.
- Pray to God
" Iss saal pass karva do, agale semester se pakka padhunga !!"

Being in second year all we think is " Now we are seniors ", and we tend to discover some amazing just-for-an-engineering-stuff.
We discover sizzling website with high speed internet and new laptop ( you can't spot an engineer without his smart phone and laptop). During semester start downloading constant movies and watch 2-3 per day. And then super senior tells us "Bhai, the real stuff is in TV series, If you're not watching FRIENDS, GOT, Breaking bad, etc, you're wasting your life as an engineer"
This routine will lead us to the scenario where all we do is watch the bunch of episode instead of exam reading . After the ' watching-seasons session' we make our mood for some reading so we,
-gather at one's place
-We make 'room' for some reading
- Discuss the different topic
- One who knows little bit about the topic tells a story and that is a lot more entertaining than the engineering professors.
- Tea time ( Most engineers don't drink coffee else he/she is with their lover at CCD).
- Future plans mostly day dreaming
- Crush talks and teasing
- Reading for an hour and then,
- Raat ke 1 baje vali 'Meri Maggie' break.
- Starting from reference books we end up reading from notes and paper solution.
- and Pray to God,
" Iss saal pass karva do, agale semester se pakka padhunga !!"

Two years in engineering, and people think we are 'Professional' only we know what the hell is happening inside our head.
With one peg we start thinking that "Engineering is blissful paradise" . We discover the new essence of library as hangout place. We are obliged to give advice to juniors for their first university exam. Only we know that it's not the ragging . We go to late night parties and fast driving. One bike and 'triple safari' . Tech-fest is our 'Tomorrowland' before the exam. Inner voice says you can pass any subject. Becomes an expert on mugging & writing shit in the fuc*ing exams. We start our day with the as usual collecting IMPs, end up becoming avid
- smokers , Cigarettes that don't let us sleep.
- Important page numbers, to read for the last moments.
- A fuc*ing long explanation to topic and after 30 minutes we realize that topic isn’t there in the syllabus .
- We skipped almost all odd topics but beneath to have a fear, if it will be asked.
- And the last-night-tension-relief-long-calls.
-A repetitive 89 Signatures we do in a book which have kept to note down for Imp points to remember.
- After an hour reading , as usual we all are drizzly.
-We are the sherlocks of Ghajini, we don't have the ability to' remember' things , but we sure can 'memorize' things over night just for the special 'bloody paper'

After surviving three years through this hellish engineering, we are those devils who rule on the college and don't want to taste the reality, which ultimately sucks! We have no idea of subjects even after the three years, endless vivas, Big major project and tension of placement. Still all we think is " why the hell we're still single after fucking four years " .
-We sleep like the 'Baap' of Kumbhkaran and the bed becomes Extra Seductive day before an exam.
- Those of us who love their afternoon nap gets their hell when we ruin that for them!
-A day before exam...When From Outside we are like "Spartansssss.!!"
but from inside it's like "Fuc* this Shit outta hell..!!
-we becomes champions of various games during our Crucial day before an exam time.
-A novel/game that we kept aside just to get refreshment but we make a personal obligation to complete the book/game, doesn't matter if the subject stays untouched.

After all these foolishness we manage to get passed. We drink, we smoke, we watch porn and we make sarcasm through all, we have become writer, artist, singer , and lot more; we have big start up ideas in mind but we have one more thing , label of "Engineer" on head. Being in last year we never have attended the lectures but we are regular for college campus.
From facebook posts to whatsapp status to hike timeline to twitter tweeting, we have thrown out our anger of exams out. Things have changed, but the damn fuc*ing system seems to just stare at our face and show the label of "You're an Engineer".
                                                                        -Kemil Ghoghari (An Engineer, with the help of J.) 


Friday, 27 November 2015

Unlocked Treasure


" ...not just "

Its not just my desire
Its my dream comes true
Its not only about you
Its about me holding us !!

Its not just time we've passed
Its a moment we've lived
It not only about our kiss
Its the breath we've shared !!

Its not just about closed book
Its a chapter that I've turned
It not only about my poem
Its the love we've learned !!

"...everything changed "

You hurt me thousands time but I never think of that
I did that one time
And everything changed

You shout at me like you don't care
But I never think of that
I did that one time
And everything changed

You get high like there is no tomorrow
But I never think of that
I did that one time
And everything changed

You left me like you're not coming back
But I never think of that
I did that one time
And everything changed

I'll keep repeat these things and I know you'll think of that
Don't do this again
Else nothing will be the same ..!!

"..don't go"

Don't go for a while
As I'm still in love with you
Can't you stay for a while
As I'm mad for you

Don't treat me like this
As I still believe in you
Can't you stay for a while
As I'm still in love with you 

Don't look at me like this
As I still care for you
Can't you stay for a while
As I'm still in love with you 

Don't laugh at me like this
As I still smile for you
Can't you stay for a while
As I'm still in love with you 

Don't leave me like this
As I still here for you
Can't you stay for a while
As I'm still in love with you 

Don't fake a smile like this
As I still know you
Can't you stay for a while
As I 'm still in love with you 

Don't cry for me
As you still in love with me
Can't we stay together forever
As I'm still in love with you..!!

"...fear "

I fear from the people I love
their smile , love and fear of hate
But I know I am not alone
 
I fear from the dreams I see
the reality, night and fear of breaking
But I know I am a dreamer

I fear from the thoughts I think
the dark, past and fear of negativity
but I know I am not a psycho

I fear from the Life I live
the hard, real and fear of failing
but I know I do exist ..!! 

"...memories "

memories exist in my treasure
locked hard
impossible to find
from hate to divine

memories exist in my thoughts
darkened sight
embarrassed to hide
from present to past

memories exist in my dreams
at half past two
imagined to fly
from night to sunrise

memories exist in my life
beating fast
remembered to smile
from start to live life..!!

"...where is "

And the night starts glowing
'Cz of the stars
Where is the moon
Where is the moonlight

And the baby starts dreaming
'Cz of the book
Where is the magic
Where is the magical nights  

"...if "

If I pray,
 you're the blessings
If I'm happy, 
you're the smile
If I sing,
you're the song
If I'm star, 
you're the stardom..!!
                                                                        -Kemil Ghoghari
 

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Things that matter (may be..)

             ...people never understand what we try to make them understand, so it is far better that we keep mum . But sometimes we can't. We wanna scream in this night. We wanna laugh hard on the day in middle of our office work. But we are scared about the way people would look at us. Is it wrong that we are girls? We can always see those watchful eyes looking at us, as if judging us and our behavior every single moment. They underestimate us and our work just because we are girls. Why this matter so much? Matters like this always freaks us out.

Whenever there is a long journey , we- the girls have to hold the pee, just because there is no proper toilet on the way. And peeing into the bush near roadside at the night is not the proper/preferable way, but boys don’t  face this problems. But anyway this doesn't matter to you.

Even if in a sunny hot day, we can't wear what we want to. Well, sometimes it's irrelevant what kind of day it is, we can't wear what we want to. End of discussion. We will always be called upon by people, and told that this is not the proper way to dress. A sleeveless lose tee and pajama is only for the boys. Even if we wear tight dress , they have problem in that too. But boys don’t have to face these problems. They can roam around in their shorts being top less. But this doesn’t matter to you. I guess.

A boy can have late nights with friends, or even the night outs. But what happen if we want to go late at night for clubbing, for fast ride, for ice cream at 3 in the morning ? Sometimes, we may wonder whether we will do be able to do such things if given the freedom to us, or will the fear stop us from living our freedom. The fear, of those boys who harass us at club , fear to go around for long ride, while looking in the mirror and wondering whether there is a bike behind us.Even as independent girls, we must depend on good guys. That please let us have our fun. But this doesn’t matter to you.

When we-the girls, want to pursue higher studies in a place away from home, and our parents have to think about every little details, from the college to hostel, from the area to food. Because that particular city had been in the news recently, being under the headline as 'unsafe for women.' But there is never such tagline for the boys. That’s why this doesn’t matter.

Have you seen any girl eating alone in a restaurant or enjoying the movie alone in the theater? Even if we want to go alone, we have to mention that : ! "Seat for a girl", and then the ticket  booking clerk manage to give us the seat. Far from boys. But that’s not enough because even when sitting in the dark, we are always afraid of something even darker.

When we plan for the holiday trip, we have to double check for safety. All the male-friends can do the room sharing but we have to book separate room with extra money for safety. Still the night are sleepless being alone in the room. But you can roam around without any fear . But this doesn’t matter to you.

When people assume that girls, have no ambition, apart from finding the good husband, with handsome salary. And parents also thinks the same for their so called darling princesses . But they forget that not only does a girl have dreams, but also the passion and capabilities to fulfill those dreams. They also wanna live the carefree life. They may be independent, but they are still caged inside the rigid nature of the society.They wish they can get out of this cage, to be free in the sky. So they can go wherever the wind and their desire take them. to live their own dreams.

All things don’t matter for the boys now but when you realize that the Gender Equality is your issue, too. It is when you become a father of the daughter that these things will become a crucial the important matter for you. For only then will you understand that one of the best gifts you can ever give to your daughter, is the ability for her to live her life on her own standards.

                                                                                          -Kemil Ghoghari (With the help of J.)

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Collection (Steps toward destroying)

Some of my GAZALS and POEMS collection ..

1) તને કહ્યા વગર સામુ જોયા કરવાનું સારું લાગે છે ,
    તું ના હો ત્યારે પણ તને વિચારતા રહેવું સારું લાગે છે..
    કરે છે તું પણ આ જ, ગમું છું હું પણ તને,
    એટલે જ મારી રચના માં તારા વિશે લખતા રહેવું સારું લાગે છે..
    આંખ બંધ કરી તારી કલ્પના કરવાનું સારું લાગે છે ,
    એટલે જ દરેક વસ્તુ ને તારી સાથે સાંકળતા રહેવાનું સારું લાગે છે..
    મારી દરેક ધડકન નો શ્વાસ તારાથી જ ચાલે છે,
    એટલે જ દરેક ક્ષણે તને યાદ કરતા રહેવું સારું લાગે છે .!

2)  મેઘધનુષી રંગો તે ના પૂર્યા ના મેં પૂર્યા ,
     બસ ખાલી પછી ના ઘસરકા આમ તેમ માર્યા કર્યા..
     એવા તે શું કામ રહ્યા કે.
     બસ ઉદાસી ના જામ પીધા કર્યા..
     તું ડૂબતી ચાલી મારા અંતર માં ,
     તે પ્રેમગીત અમને ગાતા કર્યા..
     ઉઘડ્યા ના દ્વાર કદીયે તારા મનમાં ,
     તોય થડકારા મન માં વાગ્યા કર્યા..
      હાસ્ય આવું કૈક ઝડપાયું મારા નયનો માં ,
     ને ધબકારા મારા બસ વધતા ચાલ્યા ..!

3)   સવારનું પેહલું કિરણ આંખ પર પડ્યું ,
       મારા અંધારા સપના નો લય તોડવો પડ્યો ,
                       ને મારું મન ખાતું થય ગયું  ..
       કડકડતી ઠંડી માં વહેલા ઉઠવું પડ્યું ,
       સવારના પહોરમાં દુધવાળા ની બુમ સંભાળવી પડી ,
                        ને મારું મન ખાતું થય ગયું  ..
       આળસ મરડીને , ઓશિકા ને ગળે વળગાડીને ,
       મમ્મી નો મીઠો અવાજ સાંભળી ઉઠવું પડ્યું ,
                        ને મારું મન ખાતું થય ગયું  ..
       અલાહ ની નમાઝ કાન માં ગુંજી ઉઠી , 
       દિલ માં તે સંભાળવાની મીઠી આસ પ્રગટી ઉઠી ,
       પણ સાયકલ નો ખટરાગ અને સૂર્ય નો ઝગમગાટ સ્પર્શવો પડ્યો ,
                        ને મારું મન ખાતું થય ગયું  ..
       સપના નો સાગર હિલ્લોળા લેતો હતો,
        અને અચાનક આંખ માંથી આંસુ સારી પડ્યું ,
                       ને મારું મન ખાતું થય ગયું  ..


4)     આભે ખોલી આંખ ,
         વાદળો જતા રહ્યા દુર ,
          શું સપનું હતું એ ?

         ધરતી અ કર્યો ઝાકળ નો સ્પર્શ ,
          ક્ષિતિજ જતી રહી દુર ,
          શું સપનું હતું એ ?

           પાને રંગ્યું પોતાને પીળાશ થી ,
           વસંત જતી રહી દુર ,
            શું સપનું હતું એ ?

           કર્યો કોઈં પ્રેમ નો એકરાર ,
            પ્રેમ જતો રહ્યો દુર ,
          શું સપનું હતું એ ?

5)       કઈ કેટલાય મન ના virus ભૂસ્યા ,
          તોય તારો અ softtouch યાદ આવ્યો। .
           આંખો ની screen કેટલીય વાર turn off કરી ,
            તોય તારો અ pic યાદ આવ્યો। .
           જેટલી વાર દિલ ની drive મેં format કરી ,
           તોય તું પાછો download થય યાદ આવ્યો।.
          delete કર્યું તારું નામ કેટલીય વાર મન માંથી ,
          તોય તારા નામ ની error આવતા તું યાદ આવ્યો। .
           ના કરી શકી આપની relationship  restart ,
           તોય જયારે જયારે આંસુ ઓં નું output  વધ્યું ,
                                      ત્યારે ત્યારે યાદ આવ્યો। ..
                                                                                       - Kemil Ghoghari

Some of the two liners ...

કોઈ ની જાન બચાવવા બેઠી છું ,
બ્લેડ ની ધાર કાઢવા બેથી છું। .

 બુલંદી પર પણ બહુ ભીડ લાગેલી છે ,
રોજ કેટલાય 'અશ્ક' સારી પડે છે। .

તારા અસ્તિત્વ ની સાબિતી આપવી પડશે ,
હવે તો સપના પણ એ હકીકત થી દુર ભાગે છે। .

તારી આંખો એ એવો નશો ચડાવી દીધો ,
હવે તો કસુંબો પણ ફિક્કો લાગે છે। .

એકમાત્ર તને પ્રેમ કરવા બેઠા છીએ ,
કાગળ પર અક્ષર અક્ષર રમવા બેઠા છીએ। .
                                                                                           - Kemil Ghoghari 


Sunday, 9 August 2015

Unspoken Feelings ..(1)

                                ..Why you don't understand that, I want to talk to you. I don't want small talks, don't say hello but tell me how was your morning in brief. I want a complete paragraph about the time you spent at your cousin's wedding. Call me and tell me why you believe in me. Tell me some unspoken things about us. Just go on for hours and I promise you I will listen every word carefully and discuss every thing that you are feeling. Just be with me every time saying random stuff .I don't want to hear how much you love me but simply want that feelings in those unspoken words.

                                ..feeling so exhausted ,no matter how much I sleep, I eat even I take a long walk, something inside me seems to have given up. These sleepless night, these thoughts , its awful. Even worse feeling is when I am trying to do some work at afternoon but these thought are hitting me like a tornado , and how can I act to be normal front of hundreds of people. Night are better. Far better.

                                ..I tried to explain but she is not listening, I know when she came back home she was angry, I am her daughter , except me she don't have any close friend, she must get out her anger on me. But I overreacted, I was worst and now I feel guilty. My sorry won't matter. Will she understand my unspoken words that I love her and she is the best mother of world no matter how much she scolds me.

                              ..I met you today ,I wanted you to hug me like 15minutes straight, then you lean forward to me and kiss me on my forehead, I don't want any assurance ,any promises, no eye contact , just wrap me under your arms for decades.

                              ..I hate this changes in me. Hate being so sensitive. Can't bear the small change in the way friends talk to me, look at me or message me. I just want you to remain same in front of me. If you are feeling lazy , still I want you to text me. I think about you whole night because you are not here to say goodnight. I want you to give me the full attention.  When you are hanging out with your other friends I want you to miss me that time too and between that time text me about how your friends are being boring and you are missing me. I hate it when you are slowly started ignoring me. Can't you understand this feelings of me ?

                              ..its not that I am complete and happy without you, but with you I feel so much better. Don't want any promises. I want that you understand my mood swings while I am angry without no reasons. I need you to understand that something happens and sometimes things don't work out. Don’t tell me sweet words, but show me my reflection when I am being a bitch . Then only I will understand how wrong I was in the first place. I am able to live without you for days and won't loss in darkness. But I want you to know that in spite of all this I desperately want you by my side. I don't need you but I want that you will never left my side. Relationship has changed over time but if we can make it work, then understand this unspoken feelings of my heart.

                              ..now I know that what I was up to was no longer exists. I hold you so tight that it started giving me the pain. But I need to understand that you are no longer in my life. Still I am waiting for the miracle. I hope you are happy there. Because in my world there is no one except me trying to be happy without you.

                              ..there was a time when I was so exited for little things. I start dancing when I found 10 Rs. note in my jeans. When I used to have dinner with my best friends on Sunday .My heart start throbbing fast when I saw cute guy standing next to me. I was so exited trying my new jeans. But as I grow up this little happiness faded into memories. Unspoken memories . Because now I don’t have friends with whom I can share this feelings. Few things always left unsaid while they must be out come with the low .

          -(Inspiration twitter)

                                                                                                                             - Kemil Ghoghari (KeMS)