Unlocked Treasure..(2)

".. very last time "

Let me remember your smile very last time,

let me kill my love with words very last time!

Walking on your lips very last time,

biting your thoughts, killing the fragrance,

of our love for very last time!

Ride the night very last time,

hide the beneath of it very last time!

You hear that sound? Last time?

My heart is crying for you.. The very last time!

Feel the soft touch of mine very last time,

I'm here, near you for very last time!!

 ".. old love story "

You're my same old love story,

That started from a diary! 

Every page of my life,

Sings a song about gettin' high!

I'm the one who always cry,

Thinking about how hard we try! 

We created the music slow,

Now that sounds high and blow! 

You changed your smile, I'm fine,

Let's have one last glass of wine! 

That way there ended the clashes,

Now our love is in the ashes! 

Now it's last poem with lonely mind,

You find a girl who is Kind!! 

".. miss with You "

The cool breeze, I miss with you,

the stinky smell, I miss with you!!

All those memories , on a bench,

Gentle kiss we did in a French,

Dump the love in a ocean trench!

The cozy smile, I miss with you,

The French kiss, I miss with you.

Diary pages with the scars,

Empty ash tray with cigars,

The song  we made on your  guitar!

Dump the love in empty jars !

The teary eyes, I miss with you.

Singing the song, I miss with you.

I ain't  gonna cry, beside your dreams,

Want the happiness, just one beam,

Dump the pain in empty love streams !

The passion of love, I miss with you,

Sharing the happiness, I miss with you.

                                                                                                                          -Kemil Ghoghari

Date a Girl who Writes ..!!

Date a girl who writes, and instead of fancy flowers buy her rare books! Dating a girl who reads may create sensation in your mind but to find a girl who writes can make your world magically unbounded by imagination. She might not use your name in her stories but believe me you will end up being the center of inspiration for her writing, depends on how much you mean to her in her life !

For a girl who writes may create two different images in your mind, she can be an avid reader yet manage to write something of her own on those blank pages. She will never deny to fill those yellow pages with her colorful words. If you find a girl carrying her laptop with a cup of coffee, just look at her gracefully, you might fall in love with the designer shadow she has created under her eye bags! She might be unaware of the world, so you might spot her with her old blue jeans and an untucked, unbuttoned shirt! She might have those rough shoes and be totally into the imagination about  Cinderella! She doesn't care what is the outside weather and how much the sun is burning her skin, all she cares is to adjust the right brightness of her laptop!

Be with a girl who writes, You'll know the sense of humor she is carrying with her, she can be a sarcastic bitch and she can be a motherly figure when you need empathy and kindness! She will always put you in joy and surprise with her new story, observe her every word she is choosing for you! She will extend your dreams and give you words when you are half stuck in between a line! In her notebook you'll always find a reserved page about you. She will amuse you with her observation about you, you'll end up achieving all her messages she once sent you.

She'll be all like creating a character from light to dark, from a warrior to philosopher, love to hate and reader to writer. She knows happy ending always takes bit of time in friction as well as in reality. Don't lie to her, she will understand the formation of those words, don't be too frictional, because she is Real!

She won't leave you when you're fucked up with your mind, she understands the human nature more than you do!

She is the creator of those beautiful thoughts you have read once on her blog or in an unfinished article in her laptop. She knows that reality sucks and it's nothing like the story she creates, because while creating the storyline she lives in reality.

Be with her as she will create the memories with you, in her journal at midnight, she can be able to walk miles with you telling all her fantasies and sharing the secrets while holding your hand and whispering gently in your ear.  Buy her books without any special occasions. Sit next to her and tell your stories, she might be interested knowing how your day was! A girl who writes is also the best listener, and a secret holder. After few years you might find a story about you, in her blog or in her books. Write her something beautiful because a girl who writes always fall in love with a person who takes a little effort to write something for her.

She will guide you, tell you the perfect quote on right moment when you need the motivation, even though she is not right beside you, you will find her words in your laptop, in you mail folder or in your heart! You will never lose her, her words always be with you. At least be a friend with a girl who writes, all her tweets might turn out to be about you, she will be all witty with her words, because she knows how to play with words. Never ask about her unfinished article, only she knows that until the very end she is stuck to that unfinished writing, give her time to value your importance, read her writing she has written for you, about you, you'll know how much she values you.

When you come up with the thought : "She is a damn writer" understand you have already fallen in love with her. When she writes about happy story she is joyous , when she is depressed she might end up creating a lonely poem, when her writing shows inspiration, find her with self motivation. She is that bitter with her writing like the first alcohol, she is sweet with her writing gradually like the first hug and she is a bold writer like a passionate kiss. She knows everything, still creates the imaginary world, because she knows how to live with multiple characters in a single story called LIFE..!

                                                  -Kemil Ghoghari (A girl with Camera finding story for her Book !)

Also a girl who codes ..
Check out my two Apps on Google Play Store.

Kptio :  https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sparrow.kptio&hl=en

Soul Mate Check !! : https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.application.soulmates&hl=en

#s_he..(4)

61. He was the music,

       She played in her earphones !

62. It's hard to leave at once, first he broke into tears,

        then she laughed on him !

63. He was careful because of her feelings for him, 

       She was rude for not to feel anything !

64. She lost her mind on him, 

       His fault was he lost his heart on her !

65. She was confused, 

       He was the reason !

66. She was a chaos of mind and heart, 

       He was the tornado of roses ! 

67. She laughed to dissolve his tears, 

        He smiled to appreciate her effort !

68. She was very expensive for her smile, 

       He was drunk till he cried !

  

69. She wanted to lose herself in his smile, 

       He was already there to hold her with her tears !

70. She was asleep, 

       He was her dream !

71. He didn't know what calmness is , 

        until he saw her smiling !

72. She was unaware of her happiness, 

       He wanted to be the reason for her smile !

73. He was vulnerable , 

       She was the key to open !

74. She went far away to make him happy, 

       all he wanted was go close to her and hold her hand !

75. She was all set for writing her diary, 

        He came into her thought and she cried !

76. She was the first draft of his book, 

        He denied of publishing that chapter !

77. She was the waves, 

        He was her positive Era !

78. He was counting the starts,

       until he felt the moonlight under her arms !

79. She was music of the Flute, 

       He was the bagpiper kinda guy ! 

80. He was the foreign language for her, 

       She only learned how to say 'I love you' !

                                                                         -Kemil Ghoghari (@tonksgirly (#s_he))

Irrelative Thoughts about Relations

                                    Why are there two sides of any relation? Why am I in any relation? Why freedom always repels me? Either I am here being a daughter or a friend or a sister. These jobs are hard. Heh pretty much than you think. As I don't want to be with any of the person of my life being a candle, I want bursting fire whose flames give scars! A lifetime memory!

                                   

                                  
                                    I'm always stuck between people and the relations with them even if I'm the one who believes in it the least. Still I mess things up. Why even I care for this? All I care is for my little world of happiness! Even if I know that my parents are never going to leave me still I'm afraid of losing them. I want to talk to them. But why I can't? Why they can't?

                                    Why I'm half in relationship with them? I decided to stay away from twitter and English seasons and reading for a while but these thoughts are still coming. Staying  longer than the last. Happening first time . Why?  Just because I told this to someone? To whom? Am I in a good terms with people who care for me? Am I? The fear, the thoughts, the realization and the depression; are these mandatory? Even though I'm not connected to twitter and seasons and books then from where these thoughts are coming into my mind and making me insane to write this?

                                      Is this thinking spontaneous? Or the product of past? Or the byproduct of some supernatural evil thing? But I'm all good, I'm with good people with good terms! One thing I know is,  that these are not the byproducts of over thinking. I am pretty much certain.

                                     Every thing is momentary then why the attraction stays long? Why relationships stay the same and lose the charm after certain life goals? Relationship with not just the person of interest, but with the thoughts, with the nature, with my laptop, with my mind. If emotions can be the instance of time then why they make home in our heart? They suppose to be ugly, naked and hard to bear sometimes, or say brutal but it seems sugar coated with fake accents !

                                     Sometimes I thought relations are there to protect us from our dangerous desires! Protect us so we don't harm ourselves, they are there to care for us when we think world is not responding to our most necessary calls! Relations don't teach us to determine our best priorities, they advise us with significance of life  experience about  how to prioritize. We determine what relations are affirming for us; and the sequence of values we need to pursue to achieve the best of it!

Why this contradiction ?

                                                                                                       -Kemil Ghoghari  (edited by Pooja Mehta )

 

#s_he..(3)

41. He was the riddle of her scars,
      She solved him with her smile !

42. She was his 'would be', 
      He was her 'may be' !

43. He was lost in the echo, 
      She was calling him from the cave ! 

44. She was happy seeing him in her dreams, 
       He sat next to her for whole night ! 

45. She was so soft like the first kiss,
      He was so hard like the first kick !

46. She was the rose, 
      He was the Gardner ! 

47. He wanted to dream about her,
      She was asleep for ages ! 

48. With her he was superstar,
       Without her he was surpassed star !

49. She was alone and was bored, 
      He was crowded thinking about her ! 

50.  She is beauty by her heart,
       He watch the sunrise in her eyes !

51.  She always thought, she is losing her beauty,
       For him, she was always spectacular in his eyes !

52. He wanted her to bother him until he dies, 
      She wanted him to love her until she writes !

53. She was the tide in his ocean,
      She came, loved him and went back !

54. She wrote for his existence,
      He died for her tragedy writing !

55. She was the play in the theater, 

      which he was playing with her from ages !

56. She wanted to be in his arms,

      He sent the 'hug' emotion in hike !

57. She was the chilled Martini,

      He was interested in tequila shots !

58. She wrote to express her feelings,

      He was blind to understand the Brail lipi !

59.  She wanted him in his life back, 

       He was in grave waiting for her flowers ! 

60.  She is writing 's_he' but,

       She doesn't know where her 'he' is !

                                                                                    -Kemil Ghoghari (@tonksgirly (#s_he) )

The Dementors

Should people have to like the fear of failure? Unless you're unlikely to succeed. Fear, Forever, Fight, Finish, Fucked up, every F word has feeling of finding yourself ! Fearful dark thoughts and when it hits your mind trust me you are a screwed up social animal.

This word caused enough trouble in my mind today, fear of falling, fear of future, fear of facing the demons or I should say 'Boggart', but the spell 'Riddiculus' won't work here, this is the real world that sucks!

Don't feel shameful to be afraid. But what if one cannot be proud enough to fight against her own demons? I have problem with everything now,my mind is fucked up totally, why can't I focus?

Fear,

Focus,

Fall,

Fights,

Finish the line,

Find the line,

Follow the dreams,

Fool yourself,

Every F word is a fantasy that leads me to the dark side of my mind, but does my heart think the same?

Is it just fear that makes its home in my mind or it also gets viral in my heart?

Do I have weak heart?

But if I don't care about people then how can I have a weak heart ?

I'm mature, I should not think like this and being mature means understanding that you have the power not to be affected by any judgment, including my own judgment in difficult times. 

Is it just my thinking or is this really happening?

I'm talking to myself, but do I really exist at this moment or I just created my replica? Imaginary me?

Is it just reciprocating into me ?

What have I seen this morning or will see in future?

Are this English seasons getting high on my mind?

I have questions and I don't want the answers because these are made by me, for me, I know the answers just for now I don't wanna know!!

Like thought came in my mind  that I can't hold myself when I'm lonely but I never feel lonely!!

I'm with my friends/family all the time.

Then why I think about myself that's not me actually !!

Life is much easier when I am asleep but why these dreams don't let me sleep?

Is it just I'm writing for some drastic situation, but its not happening,damn its imaginary !!

Dreams are fine !!

I'm making them bigger

A lot bigger!

I wanna look into people and wanna find the worst of them, wanna see their demons. But am I really fighting with my own ?

We all have some rigidness towards fear, afraid of class presentation , afraid of raising high volume even if I'm alone in the house, afraid to ask a girl out, afraid to go to the school, afraid to go out for dinner with family, or to go out anywhere with anyone, why I'm so afraid of being afraid ?

This is not fear,this is just my thinking, my conversation to myself !!

So did I reach to any conclusion ?

Am I still thinking that fear has power to end the happiness ?

In a sense may be, or may be not!

Am I still afraid of being afraid?

How could I tell you about my fearful feelings where you can have your own, may be fearless!

What I know after getting the shit out of my mind is that fear is always there about what we think and how we think ! We can always have alternatives to frighten ourselves, from nowhere! Stop being a fearful dumb ass and start thinking about the alibi to use against your fear, against your demons ! Don't let your fear win , let it excite you to the level of Hell ! Stop being an asshole and start performing  your fearless magical performance around the world because people need someone who makes them happy and save them from Fucking Fear !

Today is a fearful day but tomorrow will be fearless!

                                                                                              -Kemil Ghoghari 

(edited by Pooja Mehta (https://easy2codeblog.wordpress.com) )

Naming Ceremony Recall..!!

                   It's a usual story for an unusual name. And this led me to believe that, "There is chaos in naming". My birthday comes up in February and after my birth there was a procedure for registering name in the hospital. My mother wanted the name "Krishnu" derived from the Lord Krishna. But my father wanted a different name. But I never thought they wanted 'this-much-different' name and then he came up with this name "KEMIL". My father had a childhood Goaniz friend whose name was 'Kemilo' or say 'Camilo', and from that name my name was derived with such complex differentiation and integration. 

                   Fun part is when father went to register this name to the hospital, the in-charge lady officer denied to accept this name! We're living in Gujarat and there are names like "Kavya", "Kusum", "Komal" and "Krishna" etc. for the staff department this was a unique name !

The lady said to my father : "આવું તે કઈ નામ હોતું હશે , આજકાલ ના માં-બાપ ગમે એવા  નામ લઇ ને આવી જાય છે , હજી વાર છે ત્યાં બીજું નામ બદલાવી ને આવો "

English translation : "This is not even a name (Proper name), nowadays parents come up with this type of name, go back and change the name, and come later!!"

                  But my father was confirmed for this name and he returned with the approval. (Yay..!!) In starting my family wasn't ok with the name but now everyone just loves me and my name.

Whenever I have to pronounce my name to some stranger for the first time, I have to repeat the name for at least three times and at the fourth time I speak my spelling like

"My name is KEMIL ..K..E..M..I..L.. KE..MI...L" (Edit : Don't read this with the 'My name is Khan,and I'm not a terrorist" tone )

and then they get that. (at least I guess so). When a new class teacher comes to the class and ask for my name, my whole class repeats the name for me since this has become the daily scenario for me and for those who know my name. But anyway I'm used to of this name scenario and none of my friends call me with my original name! They have a naming dictionary for me, exclusively for me ONLY..!! But will post about that at some other time !

                                                                                           -Kemil Ghoghari